Newport Police Department Begs Residents Not to Call 911 for Toilet Paper

Newport PD feat.

Amidst the Novel Coronavirus outbreak, many governments are quarantining its citizens to curb the spread of COVID-19. As the death toll continues to rise in the US, local governments of many states have ordered lockdown to avoid crown gatherings. One of these places is Oregon and while in lockdown, people are hoarding the supermarkets to stock-up supplies for the long stay. Now, the shortage of toilet paper rolls is driving the crowd insane. So they are calling the emergency services to ask for the same. This led the Newport Police Department to inform the residents not to call 911 for toilet paper rolls.

The Newport Oregon PD took to Facebook to let the residents of Newport area know that calling 911 would not solve their toilet paper problems. In a hilarious post by the PD, the authorities started by saying, “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this.” Then the post went on to make the residents understand that they “will survive without the PD’s help”.

The authorities took references from history and went on to tell the residents how sailors and seamen used to clean their buttocks. And they didn’t use the “soft, ultra plushy two-ply citrus-scented tissue”. As Oregon is a coastal state in the Pacific Northwest, the authorities said how various things soaked in saltwater can be used to clear the picture and the they “have an abundance of saltwater available”.

The post is pretty cleverly drafted by the department. It gave a lot of tips about how one can use so many things to carry out the deed. In the end, the authorities concluded the statement by telling the residents of the Newport area to be resourceful and patient in this time of crisis and shortage. And if you are a Newport resident reading this article, then do not call 911, cause they cannot “bring you toilet paper”.

VIA Oregonlive
SOURCE Facebook
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